From a Shy boy to a Confident Man | How to raise your confidence (or your children's)
When I look back to the boy that I was. I'm amazed at how far I've come. I was a boy that would not talk or even look at you in the eyes. I felt I couldn't play sports, write or read anything. I even had therapy that didn't help for this. Today, I enjoy writing, interacting with people. Doing small talk, being in front of the camera, and even flirting if I want to. I feel that if I was able to change from a kid that would say "No, I can't" to everything because I was so timid to later develop anxiety. Everyone can change with a little work. If you want to raise confident children, this is also for you.
First, you must understand that we all have different personality traits. Not everyone is going to enjoy being up on stage or talking to all the guests at a party. But to determine if what's stopping you is the lack of confidence. You would have the desire to do it but you feel that you can't. That's why confidence is key to get ahead in life. It's about trusting in yourself in different situations.
If you're a parent, know that the way you speak to your children will determine their inner voice as adults. For instance, if you say a lot of 'No, that's not it', 'you're always doing things wrong' etc that will make your kid feel incapable. If you're grown, it's time to work on changing that often over-critical inner voice that came from your childhood to a voice that praises and works for you.
It's much more difficult to change that inner dialogue on your unconscious when you're an adult, it will take a lot of petition but it's possible. Affirmations are great! Some people call them the 'I AM ________' because even if you don't believe what you tell your self, someday you will out of repetition. The subconscious mind doesn't differentiate between what's real or not, it just listens. Methods like hypnosis and meditation are also great because they focus on the solution not what went wrong.
Who do you surround yourself with?
There is a Spanish saying "Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are" what it means is that your environment will influence you more than you think. Spend time with the kind of people you aspire to be or people who make you feel good about improving yourself. With children, they will model other children's and parents' behaviors. For instance, if you're always giving excuses for why you can't do something, that model will get ingrained in the child.
Have conversations that empower you. If you feel like you lack energy after talking to someone, it might not be a person you want to spend too much time talking to. With your children, try to always leave all conversations with some faith in them. Let's say if you tell them they can't play something because they might get hurt, finish it with 'but you will if you learn to play it'...
Recognize what you're good at. Feeling good about yourself is the starting point to do more good. With children always point out what they do good, so you get more of it.
You don't have to be good at everything. But you can learn anything. If you push yourself too much, too fast you will feel pressured and won't accomplish anything. Fall in love with the process and celebrate small victories. The same applies to children. I remember I wasn't able to do one single push-up, now ask me how many I can do...
See the good in other people. Overcritical people are just as hard on themselves. Learn to praise others and do it with yourself consequently. You will always feel good about this, unlike when you're putting someone down.
Don't compare yourself with others especially your children. Everyone has their own time, strengths, and weaknesses. The more you learn to focus on what you bring to life, the lesser you will be concerned about what other people do.
Lose the labels. Those stories about yourself that limit your potential. Trash them. If you keep telling yourself all these lies like "I can't wake up early because..." you won't ever do it. If you can physically wake up early, there is no point to continue lying to yourself about what you can't do.
Get out of your way. This is something I work on constantly and helps me realize I'm more than I think I am and I can do much more than I think I can. Freedom and curiosity make like interesting. Read how I went out of my way by going to a nude beach...
De niño tímido a hombre seguro | Cómo aumentar tu seguridad o la de tus hijos...